I'm gunna be the first to make it right.

Saturday I worked my last night at Gavi. It was bittersweet. But things just haven't been the same since Craig and Diego left. Besides I have and adult job now that I need to focus more energy into. I've been talking myself in to quitting for a month and I think I'm still trying to convince myself that it was a good idea. I just have this sad little attachment to it. That job has seen so many hangovers a few tears and a lot of fun. I gave hugs and said goodbyes to all the people I worked with for two years, but never said a full sentence to in one language. The busser who would called me "fucking delicious" and ask me to go play pool with him at main street every Saturday. The kid who smokes meth and weighs out coke to sell though the back in the bathroom. The last big adult thing I had to do this year. Maybe?

Went to Justin's to see Finally Punk in Tempe Sunday night. The cops came and the show was relocated before we even got there. Everyone in Tempe looks really young, maybe everyone in Tucson is old, but in Tempe I had the feeling that half the kids there lied to their parents about it. Finally Punk played. I didn't talk to anyone I didn't already know besides Natalia's new friend Jose who offered us a place to crash. We split and drove to Jose's I don't really remember being there the next thing I knew I was driving to the last party to pick up Justin. Justin was only in my car for about five minutes before the puking started. Back at Jose's I don't remember much. Somehow ended up back at Justin's. Passed out freezing for about an hour then met up with the rest of my drunk Tucson caravan. We all fought about who was going to drive all the way back to Tucson at 5 am.

Tomorrow is new years eve. What the fuck right? 2008 was so adult for me. I got so much stuff done this year it's incredible. Stuff I was laying in my bed when I was sixteen dreaming about, but not thinking I'd ever really do it. Well here I am doing it. This year will probably be my last year in Tucson. I say "probably" because whenever I actually set the date it never happens. So I'm keeping my plans casual and in like ten months or so maybe fourteen when my contract with Toni and Guy is up, I'll pack my bags and drive to LA crash on Tim and Anthony's floor until I find a job and a home. It's either that or I get my tattoos removed and move to New York to become the worlds shortest runway model.

I'm not letting anything bother me this year. It's not worth it. I want my last memories of Tucson to be happy ones. I don't want Tucson to be tainted for me all my life that's what I've tried to make it. I'm not going to stay here, but my best friends are here and it is happy. If I survive tomorrow this is going to be a very positive year.

Strawberry Wine.

Christmas was a success, Gianni Bini boots and Chanel perfume from dad, and a copy of "The Road To Los Angeles" by Fante from my sixteen year old sister, along with a card that read, " Merry Christmas Dumb ass, Remember....PMA!" I about cried.

Then like every year we went to my dad's boss's Christmas party where everyone got boozed up and awkward. I dragged Maria with me and we spent half the night trying to figure out if the only guy close to our age was gay or not. I guess he's not. Later I picked up my old friend Anthony Anzalone who is in town for Christmas from his family's crazy Christmas party. He was wasted on his uncle's scotch, and his ant had just asked if he was gay. Harsh. Amongst other hilarious quotes I can't remember Anthony said: "I'm like god with downs syndrome, or Leonardo DiCaprio without a dick." He also asked everyone for a list of their fears on the back of their senior picture. Merry Christmas everyone.

I don't wanna leave you broken hearted, but you don't like rock n' roll.

I saw Milk Tuesday while my car was in the shop. I really enjoyed it. I haven't been able to say that about a movie recently. It was heroic and charming enough to make the lip of even the most fundy christian quiver.

How's Jehovah tonight? What does he think of quantum theory?

It is high time that "Brains out!" is revamped. From now on I will be posting regularly. "Brains out!" is a public collection of sober and unsober thoughts. Some that makes sense, others that don't. Some are good ideas that go bad or unfinished. This is mostly therapy. Stay tuned.

Looking for the magic.

i haven't forgotten.

My mind made up i'm so fed up.

the black lips covering the king khan and bbq show! weeeeeeee

I want you around.

SXSW Day Two!

Margarita breakfast! at Cancun's the best Mexican food I've ever had! That's fucking serious coming from an Arizonan.

Jay Reatard at Vice Mag party day one.

Andy having a mental collapse in front of Red 7.




Pissed Jeans at the Sub Pop showcase.





So creepy.


So pissed.

No Age. New songs are so amazing!

Later on at 2 am Fucked up, No Age & Mr.Free on the bridge but, I don't have any pictures of that cause there were about 10,000 people there.

I just know that something good is gonna happen .

PMA tour 2008/ The road to SXSW day 1:

The first minutes of the endless drive through Texas.

Charlie, Andy &, Andy's mustache.

I'd been warned by several people about the misery that is El Paso, TX. So I'd planned on sleeping right through it, but fifteen minutes into El Paso we ran over a piece of metal, thus destroying our tire.

Charlie fixing the tire. Our hero! So it turned out I spent a lot more time in El Paso then I ever wanted to.

Seventeen hours later, Mr. Free house show!






VIP status at the children's museum, which just meant free popov & red bull which got us in a lot of trouble which I'll get into later on...

The setting was pretty perfect, everyone was having a magical time.

Positive Magical Attitude.

My friends The mae shi.




Tucson & LA where everywhere!





Mika Miko & "straight vodka"

and the drummer from Motorhead?







Kaia had one too many vodka's so I had to call a cab. Thankfully Nick helped get her outside where I got into a fight with some frat boy type & screamed "you dumb mother fucker" on the corner while waiting for my cab with Kaia's head on my knee & was probably "don'ted" on Vice.

Keep the wet dream alive.

Let's start rumors.

Happy Birthday Justin.



Sorry.

I'm not scared to die before I get old.

I'M GOING TO AUSTIN NEXT WEEK!

Almost gold.

BORING.

You kissed me shy as though I'd never been your lover.

and if you won't come back
how will you phone to say
you won't come back
so that I could at least argue

I dont care if it's bad. I dont care if it's shallow. Where ever you go I'll follow.

"Don't be afraid. I'm not. As long as you don't hurt me more then I like to be hurt. I will do anything you ask. You should never be ashamed of things like that, I mean you musnt, be. You know theres nothing wrong. Nothing is wrong. I think the only way that any of us can ever be happy is to let it all hang out. And to do it all. Fuck it. "

Honey knows I never lie & I'll be here until this feeling dies.

Yesterday we went to Sarah's parents house for her 21st.

We drank bloody mary's, ate cake, & sucked helium out of all the balloons.

Embarrassing?

We made Sarah's mom a bloody mary, she would start crying every time she took a picture of Sarah. She hugged me & told me that we're having my 21st at their place too.

What more could you ask for? Really.




Bye ABL! Be safe, easy on the whiskey! See you in a month!